Unless you are one of the rare people out there, the man or woman that you are about to marry is most likely not the first person you’ve ever dated. Or they may potentially be the first person that you have dated, but there may have been a breakup in-between at which point you have dated and broken up with multiple other people before coming back to your first love. For the majority of Americans, breakups are a part of life. However unlike what some may believe, all of the breakups in your life are not a bad thing – in fact they actually are a good thing.
Life is and always will be a journey full of ups and downs. The fact of the matter is that part of the down moments more often than not coincide with breakups. And bad breakups at that. You may feel absolutely terrible and feel like your life has no meaning when you are broken up with by someone you either thought you loved, or even someone you actually did truly love. You may even feel down in the dumps even though you were the one who broke up with him or her, rather than the other way around.
When this happens, I am certain that you responded by picking yourself up and moving forward. This is in fact what always happens when you are at your lowest lows, because there is simply no where to go except up. And best of all, you find yourself stronger than ever before when the dust has settled. All relationships, good and bad, teach us about ourselves, as well as teach us how to deal with life’s obstacles in general. So no matter how many times you end up broken hearted, there is always benefits to be had with every “failed” relationship.
And when it comes to your future spouse, those past breakups are precisely what led you to who you ultimately determined was the one you were going to marry. Past relationships teach you about yourself and your preferences when it comes to finding your partner with whom you will spend the rest of your life with. Being with those partners, even if only for a temporary time ultimately, gave you insight as to what you can tolerate as a partner, as well as what traits you can tolerate in your partner. And more importantly, those partners end up showing you what you truly value in a partner, thus giving you clarity on who is the ideal partner that is truly your match.
So with each “failed” relationship, you learn more and more about what your ideal partner will be like. So even though a breakup may seem negative in the short term, each and every breakup you experience has only helped you find the one perfect match for you, essentially through trial and error. So although some breakups may have been messy, and others relationships may have simply been forgettable, don’t forget that those breakups have led you to where you are now, helping you to determine the one perfect partner that you are about to marry and spend the rest of your life with.